Posted on May 14 2009
This was a very unexpected post, I was planning on writing another post some time next week after finally going on another night run that i’ve been missing for so long, but I guess not. I guess even the shortest and easiest of runs can spark something amazing, that wonderful feeling of happiness and love for nothing more than life itself.
This run reminded me of the first run I wrote about, it was around this time last year, only I was a lot happier but I’ll address that later in the post. Both runs were not supposed to be amazing runs, I just wanted to get in a few miles, whether it was to break in my new shoes or just to run, they both weren’t meant to be special, but they both were. I started out nice and fast, not really thinking of anything, falling into that subconscious pace that just helps you get through a run, and I stayed in that mindset for about a mile, and then something happened, I started to think. I started to wonder why I’ve been so sad lately, why nothing seems to have been going my way, why it seems that whenever I think I have found love, it escapes me.
I start to pick up the pace and soon it all starts to come together, the concrete disappears, the cars seem to vanish and I move to the middle of the road, and once again, I’m alive. Faster and faster I run into the night, leaving behind all the stresses of the day as the sweet pain in my legs turns to joy. I sprint up the overpass and down the other side into the ever familiar park, with one final kick I reach the playground, jump into the sand, unlace my shoes, and get on the swing. I start off slowly, picking up speed and elevation as I throw my body into the air, reaching higher and higher, the cool air dries my sweat and soon its just me and the sky.
I’m glad humans can’t fly, if we could we would probably ruin the sky the same way we have ruined the earth. And so with that physical limitation we set off to conquer the skies in other ways, we build planes and space shuttles, just to prove that we can overcome with technology, but why must we waste so much time trying to reach something we’ll never reach? No space shuttle will ever reach the stars and even if one did, all it would do is analyze them, not see them. We don’t need technology to reach the stars, all I need is a pair of running shoes and my hill; Priya’s. As society starts to close their eyes, I close my back door, sneak out the gate, and set off for the stars. That primitive high that man has long forgotten comes back and soon nothing separates me from my forefathers of many thousands of years ago, once again I am what I truly am, I am an animal. We all are animals, we all long for the pleasures of life, we all want to be free but the so called “civilized” world holds us down, what does it matter if the law says I can’t be out after 11:30? I want to fly, and no one can stop me.
It may seem that the three things I only think about are Running, Love and Life, and that’s because that’s pretty much all I ever do think about. I’ve already addressed running, so now for Love and Life. It has been a while since I’ve been able to say “I love you” to someone, well here goes. I do love someone, I’ve loved her for a long time, I don’t care how unnatural or nostalgic it may seem for me to keep loving someone even after almost a year of her not returning my love, but it is so. I love her with all my heart, and after her no one really stacks up. I don’t care what other people think, she was amazing in every way imaginable. I know it’s my fault that it ended and I’d do anything to have her back, but I know I never will. I lost her, and I’ll never get to feel her lips again. I sit atop Priya’s and wonder when I’ll be able to say those three magical words again and truly mean them. It may seem that living this way only brings on more sadness, and it does, but when you’re running into the darkness with nothing to worry about except your next step, you forget the pain, you forget the sadness, and that happiness comes back to me.
You may look at the title of this post and wonder what the hell I’m talking about, well simply put, we are all animals, that’s just the truth of it. We are nothing more than mere animals who through evolution have gained the ability to walk upright and pick up things with our thumbs, we are nothing more than that. We seems always put ourselves above the rest of the natural world, when what we really should be doing is embracing it, basking in the sun, dancing in the rain, and running in the hills. Greedily eating all the fruits of life and swimming in the pools of joy. Yes we’re all going to die someday, that is just the sad but realistic truth of it, no matter how great our technology is, when that sun sets, we die while the technology lives on forever. Why do we create things that undermine us? Technology doesn’t help us, nay, it really hurts us. Technology prevents humans from becoming naturally better, our distant relatives relied on brawn and valor to survive, all we do is create artificial things that render the use of our God given instincts useless. The only reason we have running shoes is because we have built roads to support another technology we have created, the car. It seems that all other sports need some kind of technology to be played, basketball requires a hoop and a ball, and to play soccer you need a goal and a ball as well, one sport though, has been passed on through the centuries and it will always be the purest of sports. Running, what is left to say about it?
When you run you are back in your natural place, you aren’t above nature, you are a part of nature, you feel pain and you rely on your heart to carry you through it, not matter how good or expensive the shoes on your feet are, they won’t conquer the mountain for you, you have do it yourself. You close your eyes as the trail flies by under you, you take a deep breath and tell yourself that you can do it, and when you open your eyes, bang. You’re alive once more, you forget all the rules that society has imposed on you, nothing can hold you back and you run away from it all. You run higher than any space shuttle will ever fly, running harder and harder, that amazing feeling kicks in and nothing is going to stop you but death itself.
A man can spend his life learning the stars, study them inside and out, read all the books that are “weighted with authority”, know every single detail about the stars, but until he laces up his running shoes and runs to the sky in the middle of the night, he’ll never see the real stars.
I run everywhere, down roads, through fields, up hills, and to the stars.
I run, not because people tell me to, not because it keeps me in shape, not because lots of other people do it.
I run because it’s the one love that will never leave me.